A.k.a I’m watching “Jurassic World” and need something else to do
Written while listening to: my mom yell “SHE GONE!” when the British chick gets eaten by the mosasaur. True story.
As you may have guessed, I’m watching Jurassic World.
As you also may have guessed, I have feelings about Jurassic World that are not good feelings. But there’s one thing I did love about Jurassic World.
Freakin’ this guy:
But the dude playin’ that dude is Vincent D’Onofrio. And we need to appreciate him for a second for being in three amazing things that we didn’t even recognize him in.
I didn’t know that was his name until I looked it up. Hell, I can’t even say that name. To me, his last name looks like what a cookie-flavored donut would be called (get on that, Dunkin’.) And I didn’t even recognize him. Because that freakin’ chameleon of a man has been in basically everything awesome.
He was THIS dude in Full Metal Jacket…
…possibly better recognized as THIS guy, Edgar…
His man-baby-face is actually an upgrade from the comics, though, where he looked like a squishy turtle, a marshmallow, and a fetus all had a baby…
He was also in a movie called The Cell where he had horns and giant nipple rings. Never seen it, but this picture’s pretty important…
He was also in a movie called Mystic Pizza, which I think is also pretty important. Not because I’ve ever seen it either, or even heard of it. But it’s called Mystic Pizza, which is a damn beautiful title.
So, a jerk dinosaur army dude, an alien cockroach, a nipple-ringed devil thing, and a guy who’s physically only able to say “THIS CITYYY” and gutteral noises in Daredevil…it appears Mr. D’Onofrio has been typecast as a freakin’ box of chocolates where every role he gets is freakin’ bizarre-o.
And for that, Mr. D’Onofrio, for helping make some of the things we love that much more awesome, we love you. And we thank you.
Originally published on Medium